My Testimony

Drawing Closer

As anyone who knows me or has even scrolled down my homepage in my shop, you likely have noticed that I am in fact a Christian, which used to be just that... I found God in a church parking lot on October 21st 2010 of all places. I was at a close friends funeral and sitting with another close friend in her car (talking about you Fannie 😉) waiting to go into the hall after the service and burial. We were talking about the wake the night and what a nice service it was this that morning. This was a particularly difficult loss, not just because he was an amazing person leaving behind two young children due to a sudden car accident, but because it was also all over the news... Honestly, no one can report on that kind of thing and speak sensitively enough for their loved ones to not be traumatized ever time they see it... It was hard. What my friend didn't realize was that I sat there thinking deeply of of our friend Sean had been in pain, and if he was in a better place, all those normal thoughts, I had an experience; and some of your may know exactly what I am talking about when I say that God filled me and wrapped me in loving comfort, a feeling I had never had and knew in my soul was God comforting me and likely answering those questions; f I had been in tune enough to understand fully what had happened, all I KNEW was that God was real, he was loved me and I had some work to do.

That was almost 13 years ago, and along the way I knew of God's presence and was living my life as what I though was a good Christian, but I think deep down I knew I had only found God, that I wasn't necessarily saved. I still sinned, but I now repented, I was under the belief that God knew my will and that as long as He knew that I meant well I was fine. And sure, He knows our will and he knows our path, but I had no idea how little I knew. It even get hard to express the past 13 years as I have had some up and a whole lot of downs, life has not been easy, as it isn't for most, but I never questioned anything, I just always prayed harder and tried to listen to God. Those that don't commune with God may not realize how clear his will can be at times, and it is extremely rare for me to get a message from him loud and clear, I usually have to mess up quite a bit before I execute it properly, but them their are times that there is no question. When COVID happened it was like he knew that I needed that clear guidance as my conviction was strong and I had some serious decisions to make. In fall of 2021 I had plans to send my kids back to public school, and I was so looking forward to it and then right before school started; masks were mandated, and I know "they aren't that bad, I wear them all day and I am fine", "they are necessary to stop the spread"... I won't get into all of my personal opinions on the handling of the pandemic, but let's just say, I disagrees with a lot of the nonsense that was pulled 🤷🏼‍♀️. Others may have been fine wearing masks, but as an anxious woman with panic attacks and having at least one child who is even worse, masks were not gonna work for us, I expressed my concern to my husband and he expressed his concerns to me about pulling them from school, so I went into my bedroom and PRAYED, I didn't mince words, I needed to know how to handle it, and I can't express how to anyone who hasn't experienced it, but God made it clear that our path was homeschool. I went to my husband and told him that I asked God and that he was clearer than he has ever been that this is what was right for us. I don't know if it was the determination in my voice or if God put his will onto my husband's heart without him even knowing, but this extremely reluctant man said whole heartedly that we should handle it however I think. Needless to say, as Gods will is truth, I homeschooled my kids (me a high school drop out... It's a long and ugly story, maybe someday) and I did it with great success. They all finished early got high grades and even started taking classes for the next grade level up; my 13 year old son even took a couple high school classes... We thrived and when life started to get back to normal we did as well. My kids have commented on how boring public school was when they got back; because homeschool was more challenging. That is just one of my greatest examples of how God made his will clear, up until very recently. 

A couple of months ago God started putting some things on my heart, thing's I didn't seek out, aside from always praying for my loved ones to know God. I have to start tiptoeing around a little bit in this story as it starts to not only be my testimony, and I don't want to speak on someone else's personal testimony, so I will just say that God started pushing me to have uncomfortable conversations and I just simply didn't want to have and I didn't, I avoided it... He then put it on my heart that if I wanted to have the breakthrough that I have been seeking, I had to do his will, so I had a realllly uncomfortable conversation about someone else's sin... I was very uncomfortable doing this and started off my saying just that, but that God needed me to say this, that it is not my judgement, but His.. and to my absolute shock, it was received well. I thought 'wow, happy that is behind me'... Yes, the awkward part was, but that was apparently the beginning, because as God expressed, if I wanted breakthrough I had to have THAT conversation. And again, unless you KNOW, you DON'T KNOW. 

The WAY The TRUTH And The LIFE

The best way the I can explain what happened next is Jesus himself... the Way the Truth and the Life. I am not even sure if I asked, it may have been subconscious, but being told to have the conversation is what I would call the Way, God even told me, if you want to have a break through do THIS... Ever since that conversation I have been receiving those extremely rare messages daily... DAILY! Staring with telling me I needed my flock, I had no idea how powerful a tool it is to have a flock. I have been watching a church community from a far for about a year now. I met several of them at an event last summer and they were genuine and thoughtful people. I took my kids to that church the first Sunday after the conversation and could not believe what an amazing worship they hold. I was raised Catholic and went to church every Sunday, went to CCD classes and never got a fraction out of what I got in this one service. This was just one of the many messages I was getting at once, and He was still showing me the Way, but I was also simultaneously being shown the Truth. 

Before I dive into the Truth; the real meat of this testimony, I want to help people find their Way (if I can)... if the Truth seems confusing or difficult to accept, but honestly, it is a crucial part to your role in this.... Yes, if you are reading this, it is no coincidence, you have a role, you may even be chosen. So, the Way.... You may never find the Truth if you don't seek it, so genuinely SEEK it... Pray, Repent, Read The Word, Worship with Others, and Tell EVERYONE! Do these things as often as possible... Does it feel uncomfortable? Yuuuup, big YUP! But do it anyway, because if you deny Jesus before the world, then in your time of judgement; He will deny you before his Father... I will trail off for a quick second to say this... We are ignorant of the Truth and what needs to be done to live an eternity in heaven or even that anything needs to be done, unless someone or God Himself tells us. I have heard people claim that a Christian telling someone that they will burn for an eternity if they don't repent and start following Jesus is hateful, but if you love someone like Christians love their neighbors, if you want to save as many souls as possible, that is Love, not hate that drives us to tell people the Truth... If someone was breaking a law that would put them in prison, but was completely ignorant of what they were doing, would it be loving to let them carry on until they are locked up, or would it be more loving to tell them the Truth and give them a chance to do the right thing? Christians aren't judging, they are warning because we are all Gods children and we all deserve a chance to be with him forever. 

The truth

Along with God showing me the Way, I have been told the Truth, so brace yourself, here it is.... There is a spiritual warfare happening, right now, all around us. Yes, I am that figurative person, walking around with the Jesus is coming sign, telling everyone to repent. I know, just over a month ago, I would put someone like me in the 'oops, went off the deep end' category, but now I just don't care, all I care about is telling everyone I can the Truth. Much like the conversation that you don't want to have that makes you uncomfortable, this discomfort is by design, it is one of the enemies tactics.. kind of like the one person running against the crowd warning them that they are all running towards a cliff that they aren't aware of; looks like the crazy one, this needs to be expressed despite how it comes across. Spiritual warfare is intertwined all through our lives, if it does not Glorify God than it is a foothold for the enemy, and it is literally everywhere, from curse words and music that promotes sin and lust, to what we watch and the clothes we wear. Throughout the Bible, these things are made clear and we have been taught by this world to dismiss those clear declarations as 'artistic expression' and 'love', and to claim otherwise, despite the Bibles clear stance, is hateful. Our lives are a journey and along that journey is a series of paths that we walk, the paths that we walk determine where we end up, naturally. Everytime we take a path that doesn't glorify God, we walk closer to an eternity of suffering and pain, the enemy hates us beyond any hate you may think that Christians hold in their "judgement", and his ultimate goal is for us to burn and suffer endlessly... He has cast some pretty enticing bait, and a lot of people take that bait because it is artistic and beautiful, it sounds good and makes you feel good, all while masking the hook that will essentially pull you towards the enemy. There are people being dragged along by that hook right now, looking at Christians, laughing at how "boring" their lives are, and how foolish they look claiming that they are better off without all that fancy bait. Don't take that bait! It isn't worth it, and more so... God sent his only begotten son to die to save us, he sacrificed His son, Himself; all so we could live in eternity with Him, the least we can do is sacrifice the things that don't glorify Him... That is LOVE, God is love. If you are a parent, you know that love for your child, that love that can bring you to tears.... THAT IS GOD! That is why he comes before your spouse, before your children, because without him, nothing else matters, without him there is no love. The enemy is pure hate and despite his lies, that is all he has for you, his ultimate goal is to destroy you. 

The Life

Did you know that most whales die of drowning? They spend their whole lives in the water and yet they drown in it... That is because unlike fish; who can swim around, breathing through their gills ignorant of anything else, whales are mammals, their main life source is above the water, if they don't swim up and seek that life source, they will perish. So they are IN the water, but they are not OF the water. A Christian is IN the world, but we are not OF the world, our greatest life source is our relationship with God and we cannot achieve that with worldly things, we need to seek God, we need to seek that life source, or we will perish in this world. I implore all that are reading this, if you don't know God, seek him, genuinely seek him, if you know God and you haven't experienced the Truth.... Pray, Read the Bible, Worship with Others, Preach the Word, Make Disciples and Repent... Everyday, morning and night, ask God for forgiveness. The closer you draw towards Jesus, the more convicted you will feel in your sin and you will be blessed. Beyond your personal relationship with God, you have to fight, you have to pray loud, scream his name (the enemy hates it), if you follow Jesus, you WILL live in eternity with Him. 

If you have read all the way to the end, Thank You! I am praying for yours and my salvation and I am here if anyone wants to reach out...I could go on for hours about what God has shown me and about His message, there is so much more to my testimony that I will probably add to future posts, but please don't hesitate to ask questions or to tell me about your experience. Please comment below and feel free to share your testimony. And Please share this! Share it everywhere you can, helping spread this message and helping spread the word may be your first step towards Jesus and help you to see the truth. God Bless

Mary Gallinger

@marigoldfarmsstore@gmail.com

781-679-4905